How Much Are You Fighting Gravity?
What is, is.
What isn’t, isn’t.
I wonder how much you are fighting gravity. Defying gravity is one thing — a noble pursuit, a transcendence. Resisting and fighting gravity, however, that’s for the birds.
The converse to fighting and resisting reality is not about settling, but it is to be with whatever you already have in life. Start with it. Let it be. Be with it.
I do not mean in a “forever” way. I mean, for five-tenths of a second, at first. I mean, allow the world to be, just the way that it is, and just the way that it isn’t.
Because I think we can agree on a couple of things:
What is, is.
What isn’t, isn’t.
Distilled to its basic essence, all the wisdom of the ages compresses to the timeless vernacular: “It is what it is.”
So platitudinous, and yet so profound.
It is what it is.
There’s only one thing to “get” in life. Only one thing, that if you really knew it, in the depths of your being, at the core of your soul, if you really kept it present for yourself at all times, your entire experience of life would transform. Ready? I hope you’re on the edge of your seat, leaning in for this.
Oops, actually, I already told you, but I’ll repeat myself:
“What is, is, and what isn’t, isn’t.”
It’s one thing to get the truth of that statement as a platitude, a throw-away, “it is what it is,” you say, when things don’t go your way, when you are experiencing a disappointment, or a loss, or what something is upsetting you, and you are trying not to be upset by it, trying to “rise above” all the normal, bullshit angst and reactive anger you transmute into resignation and cynicism after enough years of processing the world that way.
Obviously, that’s one thing. There is another thing.
It’s another thing altogether to get the truth of that statement as it applies to each and every aspect of your experience of the world. For instance, your spouse is how they are, and they are not how they are not. What if you really got that? What if you really got that, like accepted the truth of it? Do you realize that your entire life would transform? That even your spouse would likely transform? (There’s the true magic.)
All of the things that you don’t like about them, what if you really got that they are the way they are, and they are not the way they are not? And if you got it like, without making it mean anything about the future, anything about you, just right now, in this moment, if you got them, just the way they are. What would happen?
How about your parents? Them, too. And your kids. And your boss. And your best friends. And your neighbors.
Everything in life must begin where it is, must start at the starting point that can be best described as “what is, is, and what isn’t isn’t.”
What if you stopped resisting that, in this moment? Do you think you might be able to drop some of your baggage that you are carrying around all the time?
All that baggage about how people “should” be, how you wish they were, what you wish had happened in the past, what you don’t think should have ever been the case, what you think is unfair, how you think people ought to behave … all of that. That shit weighs more than you can imagine. And you lug it around everywhere you go.
What if you realized that most of those bags you were carrying around were all actually weapons caches that you keep at the ready, because you are constantly fighting with reality, on a day-by-day basis, railing and flailing against what is actually so? You are a gun-tote’ing crazy, and you didn’t even know it.
I know you know that what we resist, persists. But obviously, we don’t “get” that fully. Because we resist like motherfuckers. We resist all the things that we don’t want in our lives, and we call it personal growth and development.
This is about seeing the world as it is, and then choosing. This is about realizing that any choice, to be powerful, to be real, to be fully empowered, must begin with just one simple parameter: it must be made in the realm of what currently is.
From there, from that place of power and clarity, in seeing what is actually so, and what is not so, you are then — and only then — free.
Free to choose. Choose to keep things exactly as they are, or choose to change them, or choose to transform yourself. We always have a choice.
Once you get clear about these two sets of things: what is, and what is not, then you have a million choices. Abundance like you would never believe. A realm of possibility larger than all the realms in Westeros, Essos, and Sothoryos. Choices where you only saw stuckness. Options where you thought there was no way out. Myriad paths to any goal you desire, innumerable ways to get from here to anywhere.
Where will you go, once you accept that you are right here, right now?